Always My Savior
by mariskafan2012
Summary: During New Moon. Bella needs to hear Edward's voice. She gets what she wants, but at what cost? Edward talks to Bella as she's raped.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hey guys, I hope you like this :)  
**_

_**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, and these are not my characters :(**_

**BPOV**

It had been weeks since Jacob stopped talking to me. And even longer since I've heard Edward's voice. I feel like I'm falling apart all over again. The two most important people in my life left me. I didn't think it was possible for one person to feel so much pain. It hurt, it hurt really bad. The hole in my chest was aching more and more each day, ripping me apart. I needed to do something to numb the pain. Jacob had been able to that for me once, but not anymore. There was only one other option. Be reckless and stupid. Problem is, I don't know how to do that anymore. Motorcycles are out obviously, cliff diving too. What else could I do? I needed to think of something soon though. I don't know how much longer I can live through this pain without some relief.

It was Friday morning, I was still in bed and I needed to be at school soon. I rolled over to look at my clock, 8:00 am. Crap. Okay so I needed to be at school _really _soon. I got up, grabbed my toiletrie bag, and walked to the bathroom. I took a quick shower, threw on some clothes, and brushed my hair, leaving it down and wet. Then I grabbed my keys and headed outside to my truck. I didn't bother with breakfast, it would probably just fall through the hole in my chest anyways.

When I arrived at school there were only a few minutes left until first period began. I didn't really care about being late, I just didn't want to have to explain to the office aid the reason for my tardiness. I didn't want to explain anything to anyone. It hurts too much to talk, it makes my throat ache, and I can hardly breathe.

But of course right when I reached the main door of the building, Mike Newton caught up to me.

"Hey Bella", he said a little too loudly and I cringed away from the sound of his voice.

He smiled at me apologetically and then lowered his voice. "So Bella, me and Jess and Ben and Angela are heading up to Port Angeles tonight. We're just gonna grab some food and catch a movie or something. Do you wanna come? It'll be a lotta fun."

My God, it was times like these when I was forced to question Mike's mental status. Could he really be that dense? I've barely talked to him in months. He's seen what I've been like. Did he really think I was up to a reunion with all my old friends?

What I really wanted to do was yell at him for being such an idiot. But instead I just smiled at him politely and and shook my head. "Sorry Mike, I don't think I'll be able to make it tonight. A lotta studying to do you know?"

This obviously wasn't the answer he wanted to hear because he just frowned at me and started to beg.

"Oh come on, please Bella? We never hang out anymore. It really will be fun. Just a group of friends hanging out and getting into some trouble" he laughed.

I smiled as wide as my lips would allow at his last sentence. Of course I knew he only meant it as a joke, but trouble was exactly what I was looking for right now, what I needed. After all, I'm sure I could find way more stupid and reckless things to do in Port Angeles than in Forks. I could get there early, find something to do to cause my hallucinations, and then hanging out with Mike and company wouldn't be nearly as bad.

Mike took one look at my face and I could tell he knew he had won. What he didn't know was that I wasn't doing this for him in the slightest.

"So you'll come then?" he asked excitedly.

I nodded my head, "sure".

His smile got even bigger. "Great! So do you need a lift? I'd be happy to pick you up".

_'Of course you would'_ I thought to myself. "No it's okay Mike, I'll drive. What time do you want me to meet you at the theater?" I asked him, needing to know my time limits.

"Uh, how about 7:30?" I could tell by his voice that he was upset I turned down his offer.

I nodded my head again. "Sure, sounds good Mike, see you tonight." And with that I opened the door and ran towards my first class, entering the room just seconds before the bell rang.

The rest of the school day went by in a blur. I decided that I would leave for Port Angeles right after last period. I still wasn't quite sure what I was going to do to coax Edward's voice into my mind, but I had a few options lined up.

1.) I could jump into a public pool and stay under even after I run out of breath.

2.) I could break a few empty bottles and walk on the shards of broken glass.

3.) I could play chicken with the traffic on a busy road.

I was leaning more towards number three. It sounded less painful than number two. And if I was going to die, I would much rather get hit by a car than drown. My goal tonight was not to kill myself, no. I simply wanted relief from the constant pain I was in. But if I were to die, hey, that would just make the relief permanent, and I would have no complaints.

I looked up from my desk when I heard the bell ring, signaling the of the day. I grabbed my bag, keys in hand, and practically jogged outside to my truck.

When I got inside I took the cell phone I never use out of the glove compartment. If I was going straight to Port Angeles I wouldn't be able to leave Charlie a note. So I decided I should leave a message on the machine.

The line rang five times before I heard Charlie greeting me and telling me to leave a message, then the beep.

"Hey Dad, it's Bella. I'm not coming straight home from school today. And I won't be there for dinner either. I'm going up to Port Angeles with some of my friends. See you later tonight. I love you."

I tried to put some liveliness into my voice whenever I spoke to Charlie. But I was sure that message sounded just as lifeless as every other time I spoke.

I put the phone away and started my truck, pulling out and starting my hour long journey to relief.

The only time I could eve think about _him_, hear his velvety voice, see his god-like face, was during a hallucination. That was the only time it caused relief. And time I thought about it when I wasn't hallucinating, was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. The air gets knocked out of my lungs and the edge of the hole in my chest sear as if they're on fire.

So right now, as I drove I tried very hard not to think about _him_. I just focused solely on the relief I would feel, how the hole could be temporarily closed up, and I could live the rest of this day pain free.

As I drove past the sign telling me I was in Port Angeles, I started paying more attention to my surrounding, looking for anything familiar. I passed the bookstore and the dress shop I had been to just a year before. But when I passed the restaurant that _he_ took me to, I clutched my chest and involuntarily slowed my truck to a crawl. I couldn't breathe. I needed to look away. I decided it would be better if I didn't look around. So I just drove straight to the movie theater and parked.

I got out of the car and started walking. It had been about an hour and I wrapped my jacket tighter around my waist, it was freezing out. _'What the hell happened to global warming?'_ I thought to myself. I was frustrated that I still hadn't found a busy enough street for chicken to actually be considered reckless and stupid. I looked around and noticed it was starting to get dark. _'Dammit, I should have parked somewhere else'_. I didn't want to be late for the movie. And it would probably scare Mike and company if my truck was there and I wasn't. But I wouldn't be up for our outing without hearing _his_ voice.

I decided it would be better if I just turned around and went back to the theater. It was already going on 6:30, giving me an hour to get back to the truck and drive home before Mike got there. I would call him and cancel.

It was full blown dark out now. I had to depend on the street lamps to see where I was walking. I missed Arizona, where it rarely got dark before 10:00. It never stayed light out in Washington passed 7:00.

I was just turning the street corner when I heard a voice that stopped me dead in my tracks. And my heart beat furiously in my chest, that was very much there at the moment.

"_Bella, stop_". It was him. It was Edward.

**_I have the next chapter already written. 5 reviews and you can have it :D_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Here's chapter 2 :)**_

_**This was originally part of chapter one, but it was about 3000 words so I decided to split it up lol. I hope you like it :)**_

_**Oh, and I'm reading Stephenie Meyer's "The Host", it's reeeeeallly good. Not as good as Twilight of course but I still LOVE it! Check it out.**_

_**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I don't own these characters.**_

I was all prepared to live through torture tonight. I was ready to let the pain have me as soon as I got home. I had been looking forward to hearing his voice too much all day and I would have to pay for it. But here it was! I was ecstatic.

But why was I hearing him now? I was in now danger right now. I decided I wouldn't chance my life playing with traffic. Not tonight anyways. Why was I hallucinating his voice right now?

That's when I saw them. Two men on the other side of the street. From under the street lamp I could see that they had bottles of beer in their hands. And their eyes were focused on me.

"_Stay calm Bella. Turn around, walk quickly_."

I did what Edward told me. I turned around, spinning on my heels and walked as fast as I could down the street.

My head was jumbled with mixed emotions just then. I was overjoyed because I was hearing Edward's voice, more perfect than I could remember on my own anymore. Yet I was absolutely terrified because Edward talking to me, him telling me to walk away from the men, meant that they wanted to hurt me. And due to my experience last year, I knew all too well what they had in mind.

I heard a furious, and glorious growl in my head, snapping me back to the situation at hand. I could hear loud, quick footsteps behind me. And two tall shadows approaching fast.

"_Bella run!_"

And I did, I ran as fast as I could. But the good coordination I was having today had to end sometime. I caught myself with my hands as I tripped over my own feet and landed on the sidewalk.

"_Bella get up! You have to run!_"

But it was too late. The two men were already above me. One man grabbed me by the arms and pulled me to my feet. The other grabbed my legs out form under me and I was being carried away. I didn't know where they were taking me, and I didn't look to see either. I was too busy thrashing around trying to kick and punch my attackers. Or soon-to-be-attackers if I didn't get away from them.

"_Bella don't let them put you in the van! You have to get away from them! Fight harder Bella, please!_"

Edward's words startled me. Van? I looked up and saw that the two men were headed toward a blue van parked on the corner. I remembered seeing it on my way up the street. I was panicked. I remembered Edward's previous words to me. How he begged me to fight, to not get put into that van.

"No!" I shouted, speaking to them for the first time. "Get off me! Put me down!" I started twisting around and kicking my legs harder. It was a wasted effort though. The men didn't loosen their grip on me once. And before I know it, the man holding my legs switched both of my thighs into one of his arms, while he opened the back door of the van with the other.

I was effortlessly thrown inside of the van. I smacked my the back of my head on the hard floor and I could feel the blood mat my hair. Then man that had carried my by my upper body was suddenly on top of me, straddling my hips.

"_Hit him Bella, fight back!_"

I pulled my arm back and let it snap forward with as much force as possible. The man fell backwards slightly, holding his nose that was now dripping blood. I tried to get up but the other man just knocked me back down and pinned my arms above my head.

"Fuckin' bitch!" the man yelled. Then I felt his hand come down hard on my cheek.

A new round of furious snarls came from Edward.

The man started to unbutton my jeans while the other still had my arms pinned. He got off of my legs in order to pull my jeans and underwear off. The second I was free I kicked my legs up, my feet making contact with his chest. I didn't make as big as impact as I wanted to though, because his fists just came barreling down on me, hitting me in the stomach and in the face.

The pain I was in had paralyzed me. I could no longer move. I was just about to succumb to the darkness when I heard Edward scream in m head.

"_Bella no! Keep fighting! Don't give up Bella!_"

Then he growled furiously and I looked up to see the man start to remove his jeans as well.

"_Dammit Bella fight!_"

"I can't Edward, I can't" I mumbled to myself. That's when I felt him enter me. I screamed in agony. I could feel the blood pooling around me as he pumped harder and harder, taking my virginity, my innocence, all I had left to give.

I kept waiting to hear Edward's voice in my head, talking me through this, telling me I was going to be fine. But the only voice I heard was my own, and the agonizing screams did nothing to comfort me. They made me sick to my stomach.

"Edward, please come back. I need you." I begged out loud.

The man violating me laughed. "Who's Edward?"

I didn't say anything. I just cried harder.

The man got really close to my face, panting in my ear. "Is he your boyfriend? Well he's not coming to save you honey. And he won't want you anymore once he knows that you're used up. That I was your first, not him. You can't hide it." And I saw him point to the puddle of blood between my legs.

Then with a final, I felt him release and pull out of me. I couldn't move. He was right. I was used up. No one would ever want me. Especially not Edward. The pain of that thought hurt me more than anything that happened to me in this van.

I was vaguely aware of the two men trading places. There was a new body on top of me now. It didn't matter. He couldn't possibly cause me anymore pain than I was already in. Edward would never want me again. Hell, even my hallucination of him had left me.

I was ready to let the blackness have me. I could feel the mad had already taken his pants off, and he was resting against me, preparing to take me.

It was then that I heard the van doors slam open, the doors thrown off their hinges. The man on top of me was pulled off, as was the man pinning my arms. I was too shocked to comprehend what just happened. But before I even had time to react, I wasn't alone anymore. I felt a pair of cold, hard arms wrap around me and pull me onto his lap.

It was all too much.

"I'm so sorry Bella" were the last words I heard before everything went black.

_**Okay, in case you guys are confused, up until the end Bella was only having hallucinations of Edward. Then he obviously came to save her. I mean, who else could rip door vans off hinges and have cold, hard arms? lol. Next chapter will explain more I promise :)**_

_**REVIEW! :D 10 more for next chapter.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3. Enjoy :)_**

**_I hope I write this chapter well. Edward's a hard POV to write, I think lol. So much to live up to!  
_**

**_Disclaimer: Not SM, not my characters._**

**EPOV (earlier that day)  
**

I was back at our new home with the rest of my family now. It had been months since I last visited. I tried to keep busy nowadays tracking Victoria, but I was no good at it. And it didn't help me one bit. I still thought of _her_ every minute of every day. I was constantly miserable. I didn't speak to anyone. I could barely function. I've considered returning to Forks, back to _her_, but then I force myself to remember why I left in the first place. I did this to protect her. I was too dangerous for her. She would wind up dead because of me. No, I couldn't go back. But my God, I _wanted_ to so bad! The feeling overwhelmed me.

I was currently lying on the black leather sofa in my new room. I was thinking about _her_ of course. I knew it was wrong, that it would just wind up hurting me, but I didn't care. I missed the way her heart beat at an unhealthy speed every time I touched her. The scarlet color her cheeks turned whenever she was embarrassed. Even the frustration I felt from never knowing what she was thinking. This was torture.

I was interrupted from my own personal hell when I heard my door slam wide open, probably leaving a hole in the wall. I looked up and saw Alice run into the room at full speed. She was right next to me, her small hands gripping my shoulders.

"Edward! oh no Edward! We have to save her!"

"Save who? Alice what's wrong?" It occurred to me that I could just read her thoughts. But they were jumbled with so much fear that I couldn't make out the reason for it all.

"Bella! Oh no, we have to save Bella Edward!"

That struck something in me. And I was suddenly on my feet, towering over my favorite sister, yelling at her.

"What's wrong with Bella, Alice?! What's wrong? What happened?!" I was frantic, and her thoughts were still too jumbled to read. She had to tell me now!

"Nothings happened yet. But have to get to her. Oh Edward it's horrible" she cried. That's when she finally got her thoughts in order, and I could see her vision.

I saw Bella walking down the street, it looked like Port Angeles. It was dark out, and I couldn't help but feel disappointed in her for walking around the town alone at night. Doesn't she remember what happened last time? Then she abruptly turned around and started running in the other direction. That's when I noticed the two men pursuing her. I growled out loud, making Alice step backwards, but she continued to show me her vision. Bella, of course, fell, catching herself with her hands. But before she had time to get back up and run again, one of the men grabbed her by her thin arms. The other man grabbed her legs, and they carried her. I saw them throw her into a van parked on the corner. She hit her head on the van floor and I saw blood on her fingers as she touched her wound. I flinched, remembering the scent of her blood. Then one of the men climbed on top of Bella, straddling her. I saw Bella punch him right in the face, with so much force that his nose bled. I was filled with pride. But that only lasted for a moment. The man Bella slammed his hand down hard on her cheek, she cried in pain. Then the man reached his hands to Bella's jeans, and began to unbutton them.

"No!" I shouted, and that's when Alice stopped the vision. I hadn't realized how infuriated I had become until this moment. I was leaning forward in a crouch. My teeth were bared and I was snarling viciously. All unconscious reactions.

"Edward! You have to calm down. We need to leave, now!"

I straightened up, suppressing my anger and relaxing my face into a calm expression. Alice was right, I needed to calm down, I needed to save Bella. I didn't care that for the past 6 months I had been telling myself that Bella was better off without me. That I had been trying to forget her. None of it mattered. I coudn't just sit here and let Bella be attacked! Be _raped_! I shuddered at the word. No one deserved that, especially not Bella. Sweet, innocent Bella who had never hurt anyone in her entire life. She did not deserve this.

"When Alice?" I asked her, forcing a composed voice.

"Tonight. A few hours" She said. She carefully judged my appearance, doubting my calm misdemeanor.

"Well let's go!" I shouted at her, grabbing her arm and leading her out of the room and down the stairs.

"We'll take your Volvo" She said, grabbing the keys and following me to the garage.

I jumped into the drivers side immediately, Alice was already perched in the passengers seat. She threw me the keys and I started the car, speeding out of the driveway. Alice took the cell phone she rarely used out of her back pocket and dialed a number, Jasper's no doubt.

"Jasper" Alice huffed as soon as he answered the phone. "Bella's in trouble. Edward and I are driving to Port Angeles to help her. Let Carlisle and everyone else know what we're doing."

"Thank you Jasper. Yes, I love you too" She said then hung up the phone, placing it back in her pocket.

It was silent in the car for the next hour. Alice didn't say a word. And I just stared intently out the windshield, driving like a maniac. I couldn't help but to think what Bella's reaction would be if she were in the car with me.

I heard Alice gasp, when I turned to look at her her eyes were glazed and she was focused intently on nothing. A vision.

"What is it Alice?" I asked worriedly. Then she snapped out of it. She glanced up at me sorrowfully.

"We won't make it in time Edward."

I felt the pain in my heart intensify a thousand times. It was unbearable. I wanted to slam my foot down on the gas pedal more than anything. But I knew it would do no good, I was already flooring it.

"How much time do we have Alice?!" I yelled at her. I was frantic now.

"Half an hour, forty five minutes at most. It will take us at least an hour to get there even if we keep going at this rate." I could hear the sadness in Alice's voice. She loved Bella too, and I knew this was hurting her as well.

"Goddammit!" I yelled, squeezing too hard on the steering wheel and parts of it braking off into my hands.

Sixty agonizing minutes later we pulled into Port Angeles. I parked the car randomly and jumped out, Alice did the same.

"Where's the van Alice? Where's Bella?!" I screamed at her.

"I don't know Edward. There were no street signs or landmarks in my vision."

We both started looking around frantically, trying to pick up a scent.

"This way Edward!" Alice yelled. Then she took off at full vampire speed. I assumed that since Alice had done it, it meant no one would see us. So I took off too, following right behind her. Alice came to an abrupt stop once we rounded the fifth street corner.

"Right there Edward" she pointed to a blue van parked by the curb.

We both ran straight for the van. Alice grabbed one of the doors at the back of the van and I grabbed the other. We pulled the doors right off the van and flew them across the street. What I saw then broke my heart. Bella lie motionless in the van, she was naked from the waist down and a man was on top of her, also exposed. I couldn't take it. I grabbed the man and ripped him away from my Bella. I dragged him into the alley right next to the van. Alice approached me with the other man in her tiny arms. We both looked at each other with a knowing glance, and then we snapped the men's necks, nearly ripping their heads off with the hostility we used.

I then heard a whimper coming from the van. It was so quiet it was barely even audible to me. I ran back to the opening of the van and jumped inside. I grabbed Bella's battered body and pulled her into my chest. She didn't say anything, I wasn't even sure she was breathing. She was in too much shock.

"I'm so sorry Bella" I whispered to her, rubbing her hair. Then she went limp in my arms.

_**Who's got ideas for chapter 4? Anyone?**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Wow, sorry I suck as a person for forgetting to update this for like 2 MONTHS! lol, my bad. **_

_**But since I've been gone, we totally OWNED the Teen Choice Awards. And who here almost died watching the New Moon trailer on the VMA's? *raises both hands in air frantically* no joke lol. Can't WAIT to get my tickets to the midnight premiere. Anyone else going at midnight too??  
**_

**BPOV**

I felt like I had been asleep for a very long time. My body was stiff. I tried to sit up but I felt a shooting pain in my abdomen that landed right in between my legs. I gasped and fell backwards on my back again. _What the hell?_ I thought.

"Bella love, try not to move okay?"

Edward's voice swam in my head. My mind shot back to the last thing I remembered. I was walking down the street in Port Angeles. I remembered the two men that grabbed me and pulled me into their van.

I could feel the tears leave my eyes as they rolled down my cheeks, and a sob escaped my chest. I remembered the pain I felt when the man raped me. How scared I was that it was going to happen again by the other man. But the pain that overwhelmed me now the most was remembering what was said to me inside the van. 'He won't want you anymore once he knows that you're used up.'

I was suddenly very aware of Edward's hands on mine. I pulled them back, burying them into my face, and scooted away from him, ignoring the pain it caused me. He shouldn't have to be here with me. He shouldn't have come back and saved me, no matter how glad I was that he did. He didn't love me anymore. And now I was used. I didn't have anything more to offer him, throwing us even more out of balance.

I just sat there and cried noiselessly into my hands. Edward reached out and touched my arm but I flinched away from him.

"Bella. Please tell me what you're thinking" he begged.

"Why are you here? Why did you come back?" I asked. The words muffled behind my hands and the sob building in my throat.

"Bella, Alice had a vision of you being attacked. Of those men _raping_ you" he winced. "They would have killed you. Of course I came."

I didn't understand. What he was saying made no sense to me.

"But why would it matter to you what happens to me?" I asked him. I was almost angry now. "You left me. You don't love me anymore. Why would it matter?"

He looked at me with more pain in his eyes than I thought possible. He scooted closer to me and grabbed my hands in his, pulling them into his chest. I tried to pull them away but his grip was firm.

"Bella" he said my name. I wasn't looking at him. My eyes were glued to my lap. "Look at me Bella." I couldn't. When Edward realized that I wasn't going to listen to him, he wrapped both my hands in one of his, grabbing my chin with the other. He pulled my face up gently, forcing me to look at him. As soon as my eyes met his though, I couldn't look away. It had been so long since I looked at him clearly. He truly was beautiful.

"Bella. What I told you that day in the woods, that was all a lie. I love you more than anything in this world. I need you. Of course I care what happens to you." He must've seen the confusion in my eyes, because he continued to explain. "What happened on your birthday, with Jasper, that made me realize that my world is too dangerous for you. I couldn't stand to keep you in danger like that. But what I didn't realize until today, is that my world, wasn't just mine anymore, it was _ours_. And I am so, so, sorry for taking your world away from you Bella. I'll never be able to forgive myself."

I was stunned. Had he really just said all that? I couldn't believe it. These were the words I had been dying to hear for months. Suddenly all my doubts about Edward disappeared.

"Oh Edward!" I threw myself at him. I ripped my wrists away from his hands and wrapped them tightly around his neck. He responded by wrapping his arms tightly around my waist, pressing our bodies together as close as possible. The impact made another shooting pain run down my abdomen and in between my legs. I tried to keep my pain hidden but I knew Edward would notice the involuntary grimace on my face.

"Bella, maybe you should lay back down" he said, letting go of me and trying to gently push me backwards.

"No Edward. I haven't been able to touch you like this in months. I never want to be away from you again. Please, just stay with me." I knew he wouldn't refuse. So we sat there, embracing each other, my head buried into his neck, trying to take in as much of his scent as possible. He too had his face buried into my hair. It was several more minutes until I was able to speak again.

"So you're really staying Edward?" I mumbled into his shoulder.

He pulled away from me, grabbing my wrists again and pulling them into his chest. He looked right in my eyes and spoke carefully. "Bella, I'm never going to leave you again. I want that to be the last thing you ever worry about. I will never cause you pain again. I love you so much. So yes, I'm staying. For as long as you want me around."

It didn't even take a second for me to respond. "Forever then." He grinned my favorite crooked smile. Oh how much I'd missed that. I leaned forward and caught his lips with mine. It felt as if my entire body burst into flames at that minute. Kissing Edward was the last bit of reassurance I needed. I felt perfectly safe and secure now. I trusted him wholeheartedly.

Edward broke the kiss when I became dizzy from lack of oxygen. He looked into my eyes again and smiled.

After another minute Edward spoke. "Bella, I probably should have taken you to the hospital. You have to be in so much pain." He reached his hand up and touched my cheek. It stung a little, I realized I must have a bruise there from when the man hit me.

"No I'm not" I lied. He looked at me sternly. Of course he would know I was lying. "It's not that bad Edward. Don't worry about me."

"You don't want me to worry about you?" he said, his voice raising with every word. He jumped off the bed and took a few steps back. "Bella, the woman I love more than anything else in the world was just brutally attacked and raped! And if it wasn't for me leaving it never would have happened. How can I _not_ worry about you?!" He looked at me, his face scrunched up in self-pity and concern, and he sat in the chair across the room. He placed his head in his hands and became very quiet.

I didn't want Edward to feel this way. I didn't want him to feel guilty for what happened to me. It wasn't his fault. I climbed very slowly off the bed and stood up. I took one step and nearly fell to the floor in pain. Edward didn't look up. He seemed to be in his own world. I took another step, pushing through the pain. I needed to be near Edward. To let him know that I didn't blame him. I wanted to make him feel better. I took another step, I was moving unbelievably slow. It aggravated me that I was impaired like this. And the pain kinda sucked too. Another step. Then Edward looked at me. He must have seen the pained grimace on my face, because he jumped up from the chair and closed the gap between us. He wrapped one arm around my waist and another behind my knees, and picked me up. He walked carefully with me, and then layed me gently back on the bed.

"Bella, please don't do this to yourself. Don't cause yourself pain to try to make me feel better."

"I wouldn't need to if you would just stop feeling guilty over this. Quit torturing yourself Edward, none of this is your fault. Yes, you left me, and that killed me. But that's all you did. Stop blaming yourself over something you had no control over!" I was almost angry now. I was the one who was hurt. It was me. I understood that this hurt him too but come on!

"I'm sorry Bella. You're right. I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself. I'm just glad you're back in my life now. That's what really matters." He placed his hand on my cheek and spoke again. "But Bella, please tell me, are you in a lot of pain? What hurts?"

I exhaled, glad he finally stopped with the self-pity, but also miffed that he was still worrying about me. So I decided to tell him the truth, so he wouldn't keep asking. "Well, aside from the obvious..., my stomach is pretty sore. And my cheek stings a bit."

"Okay, I'll go get some Tylenol for you. And I know you probably won't like this, but you need to be examined Bella. I'm assuming you would rather Carlisle do that than me?"

Examined? I hadn't thought about that. Truthfully, if it _had_ to be done, I would actually rather Edward to it. But I didn't think he would be able to handle that, seeing everything that man did to me. Having to see the evidence of something taken from me that belonged to him. He wouldn't be able to keep it together. Truthfully, neither would I. "Yes. Carlisle can do it."

He nodded. "Okay, I'll be back in just a minute."

Once he was gone, and I was alone, I layed my head back and let out a long sigh. This was a lot to take in. Had it really only been minutes since Edward told me he still loved me? That he would never leave me again? It felt like forever. And I was still having trouble dealing with the fact that I was actually _raped_. I never thought that would happen to me. But somehow I knew I would be fine. Edward was back. Edward was _back_. Everything would go back to the way it was. And that was all I needed.

I knew Edward had only been gone a few seconds, so I was very surprised when I heard the bedroom door open. I looked up and was shocked silent at who I saw slip into the room.

**Does that qualify as a cliffhanger? Idk lol. Sorry if it is, I know ya'll are probably mad at me for not updating in forever, and then I go and throw this in there hahaha. But I have to go to driving school now!! I've just been trying to finish this damn chapter for forever and this seems like an okay place to stop it. I promise to update the next chapter much much MUCH sooner. I already have a plan for it :) Later loves! Thank you for continuing to read!**


	5. Chapter 5

**So I know in the beginning of this, Bella didn't know Jake was a werewolf. But I wrote this chapter with her knowing that he is. So just go with it! :)**

**BPOV**

"Jake," I whispered. "What are you doing here? _How_ did you get in here?"

He just stared at me for a minute and then slowly walked forward and sat next to me on the bed. "Your bloodsu- Edward let me in. The pack knew that the Cullens were back. I came to warn them to leave you alone." He lowered his head and looked at his hands. "Then Carlisle told me what happened to you. And when Edward came into the room, I asked to see you. I told him I wouldn't leave until he let me in."

I just stared at him, shocked. Jake knew? I didn't want Jake to know. I didn't want anyone to know. What gave Carlisle the right? How could I trust him with my examination if I couldn't even trust him to keep a secret? I was shook out of my thoughts when Jacob placed a hand on my arm. I flinched slightly, but then recovered, and looked into his eyes.

"Are you alright Bella?" He looked so sad. I just wanted to hug him and tell him not to worry about me. To not be sad.

"I'm fine now Jake. I'm just so glad you're here!" I said, with more enthusiasm than I'd had in months. I wrapped my arms around his muscular torso as best I could. Had he grown even_ bigger_? He returned the hug, but it wasn't the warm, too-tight hug I was used to. This one was cautious, like he was afraid he would break me. I didn't like it.

I broke away from the hug when the door opened again. It was Edward and Carlisle. Edward had a glass of water in one hand and two small pills in the other. He walked up and stole my attention away from Jacob. "Here's the Tylenol. Drink all the water, you're probably dehydrated." I took the pills and popped them into my mouth. He handed me the water and I began chugging it.

"So good to see you again Bella," Carlisle said from the corner of the room. I looked up at him and swallowed a mouthful of water. "It's great to see you too Carlisle." A bright smile took over his face. And the irritation I felt towards him for telling Jacob instantly disappeared. It was so good to see him. It made me want to see everyone else too.

I finished off the water quickly and looked at Edward. "Where is everyone Edward? Where's Alice? I really miss everyone." He took my empty glass and put it on the bedside table. "Everyone is downstairs Love. They're all anxious to see you later. I gave him a weird look. "Later? Why can't I see everyone now?"

Carlisle walked over then and stood beside Edward. "I really should examine you before you have any more visitors Bella. We don't know the extent of your injuries and I don't want you getting too worn out before we do."

"Uhh, I'll just excuse myself then. I'll be downstairs with the others when you're done," Jacob said. I'd almost forgotten he was in the room. He startled me. "Jake, you don't have to go. You can stay up here with Edward." I wasn't sure if him staying here would be helpful, or actually make me more nervous. But I guess I wouldn't have to worry about it, "Bella, I'm already kind of on edge right now. I don't think I would be able to control myself if I saw everything that happened to you. And I really don't want to hurt you." I looked down at his hands and saw them trembling. I instantly knew what he meant. "Oh. It's okay Jacob. Go if you need to." I smiled weakly at him as he kissed my forehead and left the room.

I looked back at Carlisle and Edward and noticed the black medical bag in Carlisle's hand. "Oh man we're really doing this huh?" I chuckled lightly, trying to calm myself down. I could feel the panic rising.

"It's going to be fine Bella. I'll try to keep the exam as short as possible, and make you feel as comfortable as possible. Now why don't you remove your jeans and underwear and lay back on the bed. You can keep yourself covered with a sheet if it makes you more comfortable." Carlisle started walking toward the door. "I'll give you a minute" he said. When he was gone Edward turned to me. "Would you like me to step out too?" I didn't. I didn't want him to leave me at any point throughout this exam. "No, stay." I then grabbed his hand and used his solid stance to help pull me to my feet. I reached for the button of my jeans and began pulling them down. I hadn't undressed since before my attack, and the appearance of my naked thighs shocked me. I was blue and purple everywhere. And there was dried blood in wild patterns on the inside of my legs. I heard Edward growl and I looked up at him. He had his eyes closed and was breathing in deep, even breaths. I didn't know what to say to him, so I quickly pulled down my ripped and blood soaked panties and climbed back onto the bed, throwing a sheet over my lower half. "Carlisle, you can come back now" I said quietly. He would be able to hear me.

Carlisle stepped back into the room. I saw that he put on latex gloves while in the hallway, and he had a syringe in one hand. "Okay Bella, before we do the physical exam, I'm going to need to draw some of your blood. Just to test for any diseases you may have contracted, or a pregnancy." I heard Edward growl from my right side. "It's okay son. Bella will be given the morning after pill right after the exam. These are just tests that need to be run." Carlisle walked over to me and grabbed my left arm in his hand. Edward grabbed my right hand and squeezed gently. I hated needles, and Edward knew that. Carlisle stuck the needle into my forearm and I cringed. I squeezed Edwards hand and tried to focus on anything but the feeling of the blood being sucked from my arm. A few more seconds passed and Carlisle finally pulled the needle out. "Okay Bella, all done with the blood, you can open your eyes now," I heard a small chuckle come from the back of his throat. I knew he didn't find anything about this funny, he was just trying to make me feel more comfortable.

"Okay Bella, I can start the physical exam now. If you're ready." I leaned back and relaxed into the soft mattress. "Yeah, I'm ready." Carlisle grabbed both of my calfs gently and pulled them upward so my knees were bent. I reached my hand out in search of Edward's. He gave me his hand and I squeezed it as tight as I could. Carlisle pulled the sheets back so they were resting on my knees. He took one look and went straight to his medical bag. "I'm going to get some alcohol pads to try to wipe off some of the blood so I can see your injuries more clearly. The alcohol will sting a bit if it runs over an actual cut, so I'm sorry about that," Carlisle said. _Really?_ I thought._ After everything I've been through I think I can handle a little stinging_. But I didn't say that out loud. Instead, I just nodded my head as Carlisle ran the cool wipe over my thighs.

Once all the blood was gone and Carlisle finished the exam, he pulled the sheets back over me and pulled off his gloves. "Bella, you're injuries aren't minor. You have some major vaginal tearing and bruising around your thighs." I heard Edward growl quietly from behind my head. He was no doubt watching the whole exam through Carlisle's mind. "But it's nothing that won't heal with time. I will give you some antibiotics and pain medication to help make the process easier. But you really shouldn't move around too much. We don't want you to make any of your tearing worse."

"When will we get the blood work results back?" Edward finally said something.

"I can run the tests today. And they should be back by tomorrow morning." Carlisle answered. "I'll head to the hospital now. And I'll pick up those medications for you while I'm there Bella." Then he walked out of the room.

After he was gone I looked up at Edward. "Do you think I could get cleaned up before I go see everyone? I would really love a shower."

"Absolutely. I'll have Alice get you a towel and some fresh clothes," he looked down at the blood soaked jeans and underwear on the floor and crinkled his nose. "Would you like a lift to the bathroom?"

I really did. It was so painful just to be sitting up. And Carlisle did say I shouldn't move around much, as to not worsen the damage. I nodded my head. "Please." He picked me up in one swift motion, the sheet still wrapped around me, and carefully carried me to the bathroom just down the hall. Alice was already there. Fresh clothes and clean towels in hand. "I'll take care of her from here Edward."

Edward nodded his head and very carefully placed me on my feet. Alice wrapped an arm around my waist to steady me. "I'll be right downstairs when you're done Bella" Edward said, then he kissed me on the forehead and walked out of the bathroom.

"Alright Missy, let's get you all cleaned up" Alice said with a smile, no doubt using even this opportunity to dress me up. I really didn't mind though. I felt comfortable with Alice. And I could honestly use a good distraction.

It seemed like hours, but was really only about 45 minutes later that Alice was carrying me down the stairs and into the living room. Everyone was there, minus Carlisle. He must still have been at the hospital. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Esme, Jacob and Edward were all sitting on the furniture, worried looks on their faces, and their lips moving in hushed whispers. I was surprised everyone was being so civil to Jacob. But I suppose they were all too preoccupied to worry about such trivial matters as 'being mortal enemies'. As soon as they saw Alice and I the whispers stopped, and smiles were plastered onto their faces. Edward jumped out of the chair he had taken residence in and rushed to the bottom of the stairs. Grabbing me around my waist as soon as Alice put me down. He looked me up and down, "Wow Bella, you look amazing". I looked at Alice and she only smiled and shrugged her shoulders, then fluttered off to take Edward's spot in the chair. "Thanks" I answered, looking back at my savior.

"How are you feeling Bella dear?" Esme asked from her spot on the sofa.

"Uhm, I'm still pretty sore, but I feel so much better being here. Thank you for letting me stay. I've missed you all so much."

"Oh Bella you know you're welcome here anytime. For as long as you'd like. We've missed you so much too." Then she stood up and walked over to me, wrapping her ice cold arms around me in a hesitant embrace. I didn't flinch or get scared at all. I knew I wouldn't. I loved these people. I felt comfortable around them. They were my family. _Family_. Oh my God. Charlie. It struck me that I hadn't even thought about Charlie since I'd woken up in the guest room. "Edward can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute?" He looked down at me with worried eyes. "Of course love", and then we walked hand in hand towards the next room, him patiently matching my pace. When we entered the kitchen I gingerly sat in a chair by the table. Sure it was painful to sit, but I was tired, and it was exhausting to stand.

"What is it Bella? Is something wrong?" I knew that moving to another room would not stop the others from hearing our conversation. I just wanted some privacy, to not be stared at when I discussed this with Edward.

"Charlie. I never came went home last night Edward. He's probably worried to death. What is he and the other cops are out looking for me?" I asked frantically. "Bella", he interrupted, kneeling in front of me and placing his hands in my lap for comfort. "Alice went to your house last night, after we brought you here but before Charlie got home. She left a note in your handwriting saying saying you were staying the night at Angela Weber's house. he was surprised, but more than overjoyed that you were spending time with her. Trust me, I'd know" he said, tapping his temple. The corners of my lips turned up in an almost-smile. But they quickly dropped as I continued to think.

"Should I tell him what happened?" I asked, looking down at my lap. "I really don't know what to do. I mean, he's my dad, he _should_ know. But I really don't want to hurt him. And if he knew he'd no doubt want to go after the man -" I almost choked on sudden realization. "_Men_, that did it. But you and Alice already took care of them and -" "Bella" Edward cut me off in my hysteria again. "_Man_. It was only one remember? We got there and killed those horrible monsters before anything else happened." I was shocked. "Right. I guess I must've forgotten. I'm kind of trying to block the whole thing. I just remember there being two." I said, looking down, my eyes welling up with sudden moisture. "It's okay Bella. I'm so sorry this happened." He took my shoulders and pulled me into a hug. I buried my face into his neck. "Thank you Edward. Thank you for saving me. And thank you for coming back. I love you."

"Oh Bella I love you too. So much." We just sat there like that, him repeating those three words over and over. I loved hearing them. I'd missed it so much. It was several moments before he spoke something else. "And about the Charlie situation, I really think that you should tell him the truth. I'm almost positive that he'll want to get justice for you too, but that will be impossible for him. He can't know they're already dead. So that's a grief he'll have to live with I'm afraid. That is, if you tell him. It's completely up to you. But I think it'd be the right thing." I nodded my head in understanding. I still didn't know what I should do. "But Bella, speaking of Charlie, it is turning into evening. He'll probably be expecting you home," I nodded my head again. As much as I didn't want to leave, I knew I should get home.

"Would you like me to drive you? Alice could come too. We could talk to your father. Tell him our family is back. Even make up a story as to why you'll be in such pain for a while. Actually, Alice should probably be the one to do that. You know Charlie loves her, he'd believe anything she said." He picked me up and put me on my feet as he stood up and took my hand. "Does that sound okay to you my love?" I only nodded my head again. Then I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace. "I love you so much Edward." He kissed the top of my head. "I love you too Bella."

As Edward and I waled slowly out of the kitchen back to the living room, a sudden blush filled my cheeks. I'd been so caught in the moment with Edward that I forgot about the listening vampires. And the one listening werewolf, who looked so sad I thought he might start crying. Poor Jacob. I really had missed him. The silence was broken when Alice jumped up off the sofa, "I'll be in the car" she claimed. Then she skipped out of the room. Edward began following Alice, but I remained still. He turned around and looked at me. "Don't be mad," I whispered to him. Then I released his hand and walked slowly over to Jacob. He was still looking down, so I grabbed both his hands and gave them a tug. Of course he didn't budge, but he got the gesture and stood up. "Let's go Jake," I demanded.

"Go where?" He was still upset. That much was evident. "My place of course. You're going with us."


End file.
